


My church offers no absolution

by Aethelar



Category: Being Human (UK), The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 23:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1323214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aethelar/pseuds/Aethelar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gods can't love and a vampire can't pretend to be a human. But Anders loves, and Mitchell needs him, so he'll make it work for as long as he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My church offers no absolution

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Не бойся, ибо Я искупил тебя](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3605262) by [Yumiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yumiko/pseuds/Yumiko)



> Inspired by Jimmy's video to [Hozier - Take Me To Church](http://jimmy-joker.tumblr.com/post/79681685953/pairing-britchell-music-hozier-take-me-to) on tumblr (jimmy-joker.tumblr.com). The title is one of the lyrics of the song.
> 
> Also, I have a tumblr! Come find me at [aethelar.tumblr.com](http://aethelar.tumblr.com)

Mitchell is a vampire. A killer. A blood drinker. On his hands are the deaths of more people than Anders has met, more than he can ever atone for.

Anders knows this. 

Mitchell tries to go clean. He tries to swear off blood, tries to deny his nature. And for weeks, months, sometimes even years at a time he succeeds. But he will always break, and the longer he has held himself back the bloodier it will be.

Anders knows this too.

Mitchell should die. For hundreds who have died, for thousands who will die, for one tortured vampire who doesn’t want to hurt any more. Anders almost suspects that Mitchell _wants_ to die, when the sun shines too brightly and the humans are too happy and Mitchell stares at them like a starving dog and _needs_ , needs everything they have. He needs their blood, he wants their freedom from bloodlust, he wants their innocence and happiness, he needs their screams as he destroys them.

Mitchell wants to stop needing things.

Anders knows all of this.

Bragi speaks, and Mitchell listens. Anders takes Mitchell’s hand and Bragi tells him to drop the girl, and Mitchell drops her. Anders takes Mitchell to bed and Bragi tells him to stop thinking and let go, and Mitchell fucks Anders as though it will earn him salvation.

Anders tells people he loves Mitchell. Maybe he does; he’s never been in love. He isn’t sure he’d recognise it. He commands Mitchell, lets Bragi speak and makes Mitchell obey, but he does it to protect him. He gives Mitchell the control that his vampirism had stripped away from him. He takes Mitchell’s freedom and in return, in return he gives Mitchell his humanity.

He has one of the most powerful, murderous creatures to walk the planet answering to him alone, and it is intoxicating. He looks at Mitchell across the room and watches him socialise and laugh with the mortals, and there is a part of him that cannot help but be possessive. He watches the vampire fight his bloodlust, the tremor in Mitchell’s hands, the shudder in his throat as his breathing catches, the nervous way his eyes flicker back to Anders for reassurance – he watches it and smiles over his champagne, slow and predatory. Mitchell is his, and Bragi won’t let him die. Maybe this is love.

It’s playing with fire, and Anders knows it. That doesn’t mean he stops – he spends his whole life playing god to other people, he _is_ a god, and Mitchell is no different. It’s a game, to see how close he can get to disaster, how far he can push his control, how much of Mitchell belongs to him. He moves people around and he sets up a situation and at the last minute, he steps out and Bragi orders Mitchell to back down. It is nice, he thinks, to play the hero for once.

Mitchell hisses at him, red dripping down his chin and his eyes black and soulless. Bragi orders him again and Mitchell’s lips curl with derisive fury at the arrogance of this puny god, and for a moment, Anders is scared. For a moment, he realises a thousand things that he thinks he should always have known and he looks at Mitchell in broken horror. _I’m sorry,_ he whispers, and for the first time in his life he means it. _Please_ , Anders begs, Bragi commands, and Mitchell takes a shaking step back as the black fades from his eyes.

Mitchell tries to take his teeth out. It is an old tradition, a vampire’s execution, he explains. Without his teeth he cannot drink. Bragi takes the brick off him and Anders holds him as he cries, and that night they fuck slowly, almost gently. Mitchell begs Anders not to leave him, never to leave him, never to let him hurt anyone again, and Anders promises him. He may even keep this promise. After all, this is love.

He is careful, after that. He watches Mitchell, looks after Mitchell. He orders Mitchell to be human, and Mitchell keeps his teeth sheathed and tries. He orders Mitchell not to kill himself, and Mitchell hands over the stake and doesn’t. He orders Mitchell to be happy, and Mitchell holds his face in a grimace and fails.

But it is love, it is love, and surely that is all Mitchell needed? Anders is his control and his safety, he is Mitchell’s freedom and his chance of redemption. He can keep the vampire at bay. He can give Mitchell everything he wanted. He does all these things, and that is love. It is the most like love he has ever felt, it must be love.

Mitchell wants to die, but Bragi won’t let him. Mitchell wants to feed, but Bragi denies him. Mitchell wants to be free, but Bragi tells him he already is.

Mitchell snarls at him, teeth bared in anger and eyes like demon coals. The stake is poised an inch from his bare chest, and only the force of Bragi’s words keep it there.

 _Today, I’m going to die,_ Mitchell promises.

 _No_ , Anders says. He reaches out a hand for the stake. _I won’t let you._

Mitchell moves too fast. Bragi cries out, but his compulsions slide off Mitchell to no effect. With a savage movement, Mitchell’s teeth sink into Anders’ neck, and all he knows is pain. Bragi bleeds away and leaves him to his death, and finally, finally Anders is human. He stares into Mitchell’s eyes and his heart breaks at the hatred he sees there.

The delusion of power is gone, and Anders knows that Bragi could never love Mitchell. He knows that he had never loved Mitchell, that he had chosen to be a god among men and had chosen not to love. But Anders is mortal, human; Anders is alone as he has not been since his twenty first birthday, and Anders can love. He reaches for the stake, and though his hand is slick with blood he managers to hold it well enough.

 _I’m sorry,_ he whispers, and it feels like that is all that he has ever been able to say. Words were Bragi’s gift, not his.

He slams the stake forwards into Mitchell’s heart and for a moment the vampire’s face is frozen in a mask of shock. Anders wants to believe that it softened into relief before fading into ash and dust, but he doesn’t think it did.

 _I’m sorry,_ he whispers again and lets the stake fall from his slack fingers. It is not enough; Mitchell’s death is on his hands, and it is more than he can ever atone for.

Anders knows this.


End file.
